This Photo was taken just seconds before I went cracker dog. I posed for my picture and then whipped around and got a few good digs in on the public garden, leaving a huge hole before Mom could pull me away. That's what she gets for making me pose in front of those girly dog tulips!
Exhibit #3 I go demon dog if one of my brothers attempts to get near my toys.
Exhibit 4: A picture of my snacks.
Yes, that's correct -I would nibble on my kitty sistas if Mom would just give me the opportunity!
I am telling you this story because my momma and dad said I was a very bad dog during one nice summer weekend last year; even though, I thought this was the bestest weekend ever. It all began when we went camping like we always do on nice weekends. We loaded up and headed to the place with lots of trees by the big scwim pool (lake). Arriving excitedly we started barking at the campground entrance to let all the other pups know we were finally here. Mom and dad had to get us unpacked and set up camp while we waited impatiently in the truck, because we are not much help setting up the floppy house. Now that we were here it was time for me to go to work protecting my hoomans and foodables from raccoons, snakes, deer, and other feisty four legged creatures. Once we were unpacked and ready to relax, mom and dad wanted to take us for a walk around the scwim pool (2 miles around). When we got back it was after dark and we wanted to relax by the fire before bed. After walking the perimeter of our camp ground three times, I decided that all was well and nothing was gonna bother our foodables for awhile. Mom and dad gave me a twenty-five foot lead so I could guard the perimeter of the camp. (All of us doggies have to be on leashes because of the campground rules.) After everyone went to bed and the fire burned down, I decided that the area needed a complete walk through so I stretched my lead as far as it would go. Apparently my collar decided it did not want to be attached to me anymore and fell to the ground. I thought this was a perfect time to check out all the other parts of the campground and make sure everyone was safe. I was crawling through the underbrush and came around the corner of the floppy house in the camping area next to us. A nice lady reading a book by the fireside screamed “Oh My God, It’s a bear!” Momma heard this lady back at our campsite and just laughed because we are in Illinois and Momma knows there are no bears here. The shrieking lady said there was a bear so I got the heck outta there. I moved up the trail terrorizing everyone as I came rushing out of the underbrush. I decided it was time to go back to my floppy house before someone died of a heart attack. Once I got there, I could smell mom right inside and all I wanted was a good scratch so I leaned against the floppy house until I touched her. She started talking to dad and she said OMG I think that lady was right because something huge just sat on me from the outside of the tent! Dad said it is not a bear because the dogs would raise the alarm, but there was no sound from the dogs. Momma was all worried something had eaten the puppies, so Dad got up and opened the floppy house and I barged right in because everyone was yelling there was a bear siting. Once I was in the floppy house and had my belly scratched, I curled up on the floor and promptly went to sleep. Mom realized at that point my lead and collar were missing from my neck! Apparently when mom and dad got up the next morning, everyone was talking about this black bear that came through the campgrounds last night. Our camping neighbor told mom and dad all about the black bear cub that went through her campsite at which point Mom realized from her description that it was me that everyone was describing. The next two nights I was allowed to sleep inside the floppy house with mom and dad along with my two brothers from another mother. When the weekend was over we quietly went home and kept the secret of Bailey “ the Bear” to ourselves lest we get kicked out of the campground permanently.
As if my antics at the campground weren't enough, I present the rest of my story:
We finally arrived home after camping all weekend. We were really tired so momma and dad let us stay in the house while they unpacked all the camping foodables. Momma and dad went to take a nap and thought that the s’mores would be safe on the pantry shelf. I woke up to a wonderful smell of chocolate so I went to investigate the intoxicating aroma. I found the six pack of Hershey bars within easy reach on the pantry shelf so I got them down. You know what goes good with chocolate are graham crackers and marshmallows which were also within easy reach on the same shelf. After I got my s’mores ingredients on the floor all I needed to do was figure out how to open the packages while not waking my sleeping brothers. After carefully and quietly opening the chocolate, marshmallows, and the graham crackers it was finally time for me to have sssss’mores. Up until this point, I had never had s’mores because chocolate is bad for dogs or so I was told. I ate all six chocolate bars, two packages of graham crackers and almost a whole bag of marshmallows before I could not eat anymore. Mmmmmmm! This was heaven. I thought I did a good job of cleaning up the mess, but apparently I was mistaken. Momma and Dad found a few rogue marshmallows scattered around the house, all my chocolate wrappers under the edge of the couch licked completely clean, and my empty box from the graham crackers under the table because cardboard is not a foodable! Mom and dad were really upset with me and thought I might need to go to Dr. Randy because of all the chocolate I ate. I had never felt better and all I wanted to do was play. This just goes to show you that just because peoples don’t want to share their chocolate they will tell you it will make you sick. I don’t believe them and I am living proof that you can smell your chocolate and eat it too.
P.S. Dr. Randy told me chocolate is bad for dogs, so I guess I will have to believe him….He is a Dr. after all.
Well Judge Ike and all my other doggie friends- I hope our evidence kept you on the edge of your doggie seats and we will patiently await your verdict. In the meantime, I had a great time recounting some of my bad dog antics . Well I'm off to find Momma. Maybe she will take me with her while she does her walk of shame!
Bailey the Bad